By R. “Doc” Davis, Ph.D.
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I was recently sitting at home having dinner with my family when my phone rang. On the other end of the call was a former student of mine, whom I would also like to consider a friend. He currently serves as a deputy sheriff and is part of his agency’s crisis negotiation team.
It did not take long for him to get to the reason for his call, but the truth of our conversation unfolded in layers, like peeling an onion.
Inside the barricaded home
The day before this call, he had responded to a barricaded incident between a male and female inside their home. As the situation unfolded and the negotiator began working to build rapport with the suspect, it was learned that the female had been zip tied and secured in a walk-in closet.
Despite the negotiator’s request for proof of life, the suspect stated that he could not and would not go back into the room with the female. About two hours into the incident, the suspect’s language shifted to past tense when referring to her. The negotiator’s requests for proof of life became more forceful. As the suspect re-entered the closet, he could be heard crying. His ambiguous comments made it clear to everyone listening that the female was almost certainly deceased. Later investigation confirmed that she had been murdered before law enforcement’s arrival.
The emotional toll of negotiation
Negotiations continued, with the suspect drifting through many topics — projecting responsibility onto others and complaining about perceived abuses in his past. As the negotiator developed rapport, he began experiencing aspects of counter-transference.
After almost five and a half hours, the negotiator successfully gained the suspect’s voluntary surrender. By any operational measure, this was a success: no additional injuries or deaths occurred after police arrived.
When a “win” still feels heavy
Why, then, did my friend call to ask if it was normal that he couldn’t sleep, replaying the suspect’s words over and over? Why did he wonder if he could have said or done something differently, or feel such a personal connection to a man who had murdered his partner?
I tried to answer his questions as best I could, but I developed questions of my own. In today’s law enforcement culture of wellness and awareness, would this incident trigger agency peer support or psychological resources? The event ended without use of force. All the violence occurred before we arrived. Would that make it “not traumatic enough”?
What the brain does under stress
As we improve how we deal with trauma, it’s essential to educate ourselves about normal reactions to critical events. The outcome doesn’t define the level of trauma an individual may experience.
When humans experience a triggering event, it’s normal to develop a post-traumatic stress response. Think of an “almost” car crash: you may drive more carefully for a while afterward, but when that reaction fades, the incident often disappears from memory.
During traumatic incidents, the amygdala activates the limbic system, releasing adrenaline and cortisol. This triggers the “fight, flight or freeze” response — raising heart rate, blood pressure and body temperature, while narrowing focus and reducing hearing and cognition.
Prolonged exposure to stress hormones can heighten thirst, hunger, tension, impulsivity and irritability, eventually impairing focus and decision-making.
Negotiators face stress from multiple directions — the suspect, command expectations, tactical pressures and their own teams. They may also begin identifying with the suspect, a paradox that intensifies emotional strain.
Once the incident ends and the chemical rush subsides, they crash. Replay of conversations begins. Even after peaceful resolutions, negotiators often fixate on how they could have done better, faster, cleaner. That perfectionism, while common, can heighten residual stress.
Recognizing normal stress responses
In the days following a critical event, reactions across physical, emotional, cognitive and behavioral domains are common — but often misinterpreted as weakness. If symptoms persist long enough to disrupt daily life, professional help may be needed.
Physical responses can include fatigue, sleeplessness or oversleeping, gastrointestinal issues, muscle aches, dizziness, headaches, and increased heart and respiration rates.
Emotional reactions may include anxiety, sadness, anger, guilt, shame or irritability. Many negotiators feel emotionally drained.
Cognitively, negotiators may replay conversations to the point of intrusion, causing flashbacks, nightmares or hypervigilance.
Behaviorally, social withdrawal, changes in activity, communication shifts, or increased substance use can emerge — often attempts to self-soothe or induce sleep that only worsen restlessness.
Who follows up after the “win”?
Returning to the incident at the start, the negotiation was a win by all measurable standards. Yet who checks on the negotiator afterward? While command and tactical teams move on, he’s left having spent more than five hours inside the suspect’s head.
Stress responses typically fade over time, but when they don’t, who ensures the negotiator isn’t silently struggling? Leadership requires protecting psychological well-being and acknowledging that even victories can leave scars.
The simplest improvement may be procedural: require follow-ups at multiple points after critical incidents. Reinforce that stress responses are normal and temporary. Doing so not only safeguards officers’ mental health but shows genuine care from command.
About the author
R. “Doc” Davis, Ph.D., is President of RD2 Consulting, LLC, and a retired police sergeant with over 20 years of law enforcement experience. He has commanded specialized units including Hostage Negotiation and Critical Incident Stress Management Teams and is nationally recognized for his expertise in negotiation, crisis intervention and autism. Holding a doctorate in psychology, Dr. Davis is a published author, conference presenter and contributor to professional journals, podcasts and training programs focused on improving outcomes in high-stress public safety encounters.
Tactical takeaway
Even successful operations can leave unseen scars. Leaders must normalize post-incident stress and ensure structured follow-up for those involved in crisis negotiations.
What policy does your agency have for post-incident check-ins with negotiators? Share below.
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